Monday, November 16, 2009

Blog #1 What is The Dogs Tuxedo?

Urban Dictionary's definition:
1. in reference to cat's pajamas
2. amazingly hip or cool...
"Who ever thought of the phrase the cat's pajamas?
I don't know, maybe we should change it to the dog's tuxedo..."

I AM The Dogs Tuxedo. I have a truly random and crazy life at times. My friends always say I live a double life. And I agree with them. I definitely have 2 personalities floating around inside my body. On one hand, I'm just your typical 24 year old girl living in the Midwest. But on the other hand, I'm a "free spirit" as I like to call it. That's really just a nice way of saying that I'm a lying, cheating, binge-drinking, cocky bitch who smokes way too much pot.

I would say that 75% of the time I'm your average "nice girl". You know, I have a serious boyfriend (known as The Boyfriend from this point on) and we share a house together, I cook, I clean, I do laundry, etc. I've even been known to go to the local Christian church with my parents (known as The Parents) on occasion (I'm personally surprised I don't burst into flames the second I walk in). When I'm in "nice girl" mode I've been known to grocery shop at WalMart, say "y'all", and purposely fall asleep at 10 pm on a Friday night. The poster child for what The Boyfriend, The Parents, and small town life in general wants from me.

But....

The other 25% of the time I am a "bad girl". Like, if I went to a casting of The Bad Girls Club in this mode, I'd be a shoe-in. I chain-smoke, drink like a fish, do just about any drug you put in my face, flirt and grind shamelessly on random guys, and then wrap all that up by driving home (don't judge me!). I've been known to initiate cat fights for my own personal enjoyment, and I've even woken up in an alley after a crazy night out. This is (of course) my favorite of my personalities ( and also all of my friends' favorite) and the majority of my stories will revolve around this side of me. I mean, come on, there's not much action going on at home on the couch watching Transformers 2 with The Boyfriend for the 7th time that month.

So, yes, I will be blogging about my absolutely ridiculous life. All of these stories are 100% true. They will not be exaggerated and no detail will be spared. And if I do black out (this is pretty common for me), I will get the full story from someone who was sober enough to remember what happened. All names in my stories will be pseudonyms to protect my friends (and myself) from any embarrassment or possible jail time that could come of this.

I will also be posting links to some of my favorite music on this blog. See, I am a TOTAL music snob. I am OBSESSED with having the newest, hard to find, all around best music I can find. Like, I am so obsessed with music, I probably need help. I can get lost in a good song. Plus, I always associate certain songs to certain nights of mayhem. So, after every story, I'll post a "play list" of music that I listened to during the insanity of the night. I'll also post other shit I find funny or amusing on here. This blog will be pretty random, but all of my stories are epic and even I couldn't guess what's going to happen to me next. I'm just gonna sit back and enjoy the ride.

Peace,
The Dogs Tuxedo